Bad Food I Love to Eat

I ran into CVS to grab some water before work this morning. The water at work tastes like it was stored in a rusty metal drum so I make it a habit to pick up some snooty Evian. I made a bee line straight for the refrigerated drinks when I saw them there in their cellophane packaging-- Combos. I can't adequately explain why I love them like I do. The cheese on the inside doesn't look anything close to natural and the outer shell is petrified. Even so, I found myself picking up the bag and snacking on them all afternoon while my banana sat on my desk. I like to chew off as much of the exterior as I can and then with the last bite have the delicious cheesy center. I had to tear the bag away from myself. What's wrong with me? Then I started to think of the other disgusting foods I love to eat. Keep in mind I don't eat them ALL the time but when I run across them I'm overjoyed. Soooo, for the 3 people who read my blog, here is my list:

• Banana-flavored hard candies: Remember how I mentioned my banana sat on my desk while I chowed on Combos? I don't like bananas because they make my tongue itch but in a strange twist of fate I LOVE the fake banana taste. My very favorite are Runts. If I could get a package of Runts that just has banana and oranges I'd be set. There's a sort of taffy that has a banana flavor I love but I rarely run into them.



• Corn dogs: something tells me the CORN in the corn part isn't really authentic. It might be made of feed grain. Still, corn dogs are on a stick, you get to dip it and there's such a wonderful surprise in the middle. Of course, that "surprise" is probably made of pig's feet and goat lips but it's sooooo yummy.

• Cheetos: I believe Cheetos are like porn. They aren't good for you. They don't even begin to LOOK like they're good for you but they're ubiquitous. Everyone's had some! There's got to be a conspiracy. Kids try to logon to the White House website and hello, porn. I go to the vending machine for some low-fat Jr Mints and hello, Cheetos. You bite into them and they magically turn to dust in your mouth so you're eating mushy whatever-it's-really-made-of by the time you swallow. I usually have a bag of Cheetos once or twice a year but I find myself licking the orange "cheese" off my fingers at the end of it.
  
  
• KFC: Despite the fact I only order the extra crispy, the chicken is slathered in oil which makes it easy to go down. I don't think the mashed potatoes come from Idaho. The corn has a funny taste. Yet once a year (usually on the 4th of July when I wish I had some BBQ food) I find myself frequenting this establishment.

Okay 3 people who read my blog, what are your food guilty pleasures? BTW- I'm totally not offended very few people are fascinated with my own rambling thoughts and read this blog. I barely have time to write entries much less check in on my own friends and family who blog. I primarily write this blog as a record, not as entertainment. Still, I greatly appreciate you 3 people who so faithfully check in with me.

Nawlins

Recently I had a business trip to New Orleans. I've traveled to the south quite a few times for work to Atlanta, Oklahoma City and Jackson so I thought I knew what to expect. I have to admit New Orleans handed me a few surprises. Sooooo, my Top 10 Most Surprising Things About NOLA (as the locals call it) are:

10. All the residual damage from Katrina... even after all this time.

9. Hearing the word "Katrina" spoken with such disdain. Katrina is also the name of my sister and it took me a little while to get they weren't all ticked at HER.

8. All the sushi restaurants and I didn't see ONE Asian while I was there!

7. The GINORMOUS mansions and how many of them there were. I could have looked at those for days and they were all different types of architecture: French, Colonial, Spanish, it was absolute eye candy.

6. The drive-thru daquiri places. My colleague said it's not illegal to have a daquiri in your car as long as there isn't a straw in it?

5. I never ONCE saw a chain store like Gap, Old Navy, even a Dillards or Macy's. We weren't able to go out and explore TOO much so they're probably there and I just didn't see them. Still, that was impressive.

4. The bridge named after an infamously corrupt politician. I have to admit I never finished reading All The Kings Men but from what I understand Huey Long wasn't exactly a saint...

3. All the Mardi Gras beads stuck in the trees and telephone poles. My colleague told me no one takes them down so they're up year 'round.

2. I braced myself for the thick accents I heard in Mississippi, Georgia and Oklahoma. Not so much... Those that had accents actually sounded like they were from Long Island. Weird.

1. It's DECEMBER and it was 81 all three days we were there! We left an ice storm in Boston!

Coming home was bittersweat. On the one hand there is nothing like sleeping in your OWN bed. Still, on the other hand it meant getting back to the office grind in the cold and dreary weather. This morning I was grousing to Brent about how I had so much stuff to do at home and not nearly enough time. Our weekend is completely booked and I feel the need to schedule in some time for sanity before Christmas arrives.

It's almost as if the Lord heard my prayer... okay my WHINE. After completing the absolute essential items on my To Do list at work we received a company wide announcement that the city of Boston had declared a snow emergency and we were shutting down for the afternoon. I was reminded of my childhood when we'd find out school was cancelled for snow. It's almost as if the Lord wanted everyone to slow down so he slowly blanketed the city with heaven's down--big, fluffy flakes of beautiful snow. Ahhhhh, life is beautiful.

Check Up

I had my monthly check up with my OB-GYN this morning. Lately before the doctor comes in they've been sending med students. For the most part, these girls have been nice but I'm always tempted to say something like, "My pee has turned blue and there's a voice in my head telling me to find Xanadu on a wooden horse... but that's normal, right?" Then she'd run for my doctor and I wouldn't have to repeat everything I've just told the med student to my doctor once she arrives. One other thing, the med students seem to have a hard time finding the heartbeat which scares the snot out of me. Before placing the sonogram monitor thingy on me the med student asked me if I knew where the baby was positioned. Either that was a weird question or I'm a really bad mother... it's a toss up. I'm pretty sure she covered my entire belly looking for it and there was a moment when I swear she said, "Did you hear that? Kind of like a horse? That was it." Okay, I've heard my girl's heartbeat before but it's NEVER sounded like a horse. I again contemplated making the blue pee comment.

My doctor and I caught up and she mentioned that I needed to get a flu shot. Oi... I'm not so good with needles and being pregnant has been a "challenge" for me in that regard. It's been made even more "challenging" based on the fact that those who have drawn my blood were the most uncaring, unsympathetic people found on God's green earth. Maybe they all worked for Leona Helmsly at one point or perhaps they've all had a lobotomy. One lady gave me a bruise 3 inches long and another dude went right through my vein and had me screaming in pain. At least that bruise wasn't quite so big. I found my salvation in Luz: she was SO fast and SO kind. I literally jumped up and hugged her I was so happy. But I digress...

My doctor was giving me a hard time about this flu shot and she deflected every excuse I threw at her like teflon.

"Yeah, you guys are out of the kind that doesn't have any murcury soooo, I can't get that."

"No no! We got a shipment that don't have the murcury."

"Ahhhh, wait a minute! I got one the last time I was here! Yes! I DISTINCLY remember getting a flue shot last month."

"Are you pulling my chain?" she says as she looks through my chart. Stupid chart.

"The last one I got actually GAVE me the flu so isn't that more dangerous than chancing it with a case of the flu?" Okay, that last flu shot was 8 years ago in the MTC and I kid you not, I seriously considered not serving a mission just because of it. Then I got the flu which made the whole experience that much more futile.

"Well, considering how much you travel this is a precaution I strongly recommend you take."

Brent was absolutely no help... traitor. The med student watched all this like someone watching a tennis match. She was silent and her head ping ponged between us. Unfortunately Luz couldn't give it to me which was yet another blow. My doctor asked me to wait in the doorway of the examining room while she ran down the hall to the nurse's office. I'm sure she said something like, "Code Red... this one's really psycho so have the straitjacket on hand." So my arm is a little sore and I'm feeling a little picked on.

When I stepped out of the subway the violinist was there again and this time she was playing Chardis. Last time she was there she was playing Ashokan Farewell. All my sisters know these pieces well and now I'm wondering if this subway violinist is a graduate of Mrs. Wiebner's City High School orchestra class.