End of the Road

I'm definitely nearing the end of my pregnancy. Today is March 1 (I got rabbits this morning!) and more likely than not, our girl will make her debut in the next few weeks. I'll no longer be telling people I'm due "next month" but rather, "later this month." My girl doesn't kick me anymore so much as nudge me. My doctor tells me that's normal since space is getting tight for her in the womb. The myriad baby websites I check on a weekly basis tell me she's pretty much done cooking--all her systems are developed and she's ready to go. I keep a stash of at least $40 with me at all times just in case I have to take a cab and Brent never turns off his cell phone. It's time for me to face the music. My entire life is going to revolve around a brand new daughter...SOON.

There are outward signs this is all coming to an end too. A few months ago strangers on the T would look at me like, "Oh how cute, a pregnant woman!" Now they eye me warily and I can almost hear them thinking, "Don't you DARE go into labor in front of me. I'm having a bad day and just can't handle that right now." When my train stalls for a minute or two I get more than one sidelong glance as if to say, "Is she all right? Or is she going to deliver right here while we're stuck between stations?" When that happens I like to stare at one spot and breathe in and out very slowly just out to mess with their minds. LOL, I'm so evil.

Then there's the constant barrage of comments like the typical "You look like you're ready to POP!" and "WOW you're huge!!!" The less conspicuous "When are you due again?" comes up often as well. Lately I've found myself getting defensive for my girl. Yes I'm larger than I've ever been and I never, EVER thought I would have any body part bigger than my butt. My back hurts, I can't sleep well, my hips ache so I can barely walk, I can't sit, stand or find any position that's truly comfortable. My hormones have me crying at the most random things, I spend more time on the toilet with the constant peeing and regular constipation than I do watching TV and I find myself grunting to make even the slightest move with my body.

However, the world is a scary place and if my girl wants to hang out with Mom for just a little longer, I'm okay with that. I'm not going to push her. Well, eventually I'll have to push her but for the most part, I think she'll come when she's ready. I've heard so many mothers-to-be who are so sick of being pregnant they just want that baby out at all costs. That's completely understandable, but as for me I'll tolerate the aches and pains for her sake. Even in the best circumstances she'll experience lots of pain during her lifetime here on earth. "She's not ready yet" I say when asked if I just want it all to be over.

I was craving steak last night and everyone tells us to go out as much as possible now because it will be too hard once we have the baby. Brent picked me up from work and we headed to the ultra-Irish South Boston where there are plenty of pubs that offer excellent steak and potatoes fare. Over my filet mignon I asked Brent to rank each trimester of my pregnancy from 1 to 10 with 1 being the sweet girl he's always known and loved and 10 being who is this psycho I married? It was interesting. First trimester I got a 5.5, second I got a 2.1 and third a 5.3 but he qualified that one. Apparently if you take out about 4 days insanity from my third trimester I'd be down to a 2 or 3.

As for me, I remember the first trimester being the absolute worst since I was feeling sick ALL the time. I would have given myself rankings of 9, 3, and 6 (I'm not the accountant hence no decimals). That first trimester was definitely rough but I swear Brent magically became much more annoying so it wasn't ALL me either. I don't think I was terribly hormonal yet, I just cried a lot from feeling like I was buried under 50 feet of manure and having to put on a brave face at work since no one knew. Perhaps this last trimester has been better because he learned his lessons from the first?

So anyway, it was funny to look back now that we are nearing the end of this journey and starting another one. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like...