To BYU, With Love

Yesterday I read an article in The Chronicle of Higher Education that really got me thinking. The article was about how Miami University of Ohio sends Valentine's Day cards every year to its "merger" couples. A merger couple is one formed by the marriage of two alumni or current students. Based on informal surveys, Miami believes they have one of the highest percentages of alumni marrying alumni which is about 14% of all graduates.

So of course I had to consider my own alma mater BYU. Brent and I met there and are both alumnus. My parents are, two of my sisters and their spouses are, as far as I know almost all of my BYU roommates married BYU boys. I was excited when Chelsea and Tyler came to mind (she was a Cougar and he was a Ute) but then Brent reminded me he subsequently got his Master's at BYU. Okay, so they're out. The SNCP? I'm pretty sure they're ALL BYU alumni (although I couldn't remember for sure about Sara). In fact, the vast majority of us--three of the five couples--came from the same ward. Then I tried digging deeper and thought through my mission companions. There was one, Gaylynn whose spouse went elsewhere. Other than her, if they went to BYU, their spouses did too.

Hmmmm, let's take a look at my current ward... I was able to think of two others: Scott and Mindy attended BYU, but their spouses went elsewhere. Brent's side of the family is a bit more diverse. His parents are both BYU alumni but his brother and sister married non-BYU people. Yet again, Brent reminded me that if we expand our definition of BYU to include all campuses, not just Provo but Hawaii and Idaho, then that knocks out his brother who's wife went to BYU Hawaii. So technically that leaves just his sister. Now that I think of it, my sister-in-law did her undergrad at BYU but both she and my brother ended up at the University of Iowa where they met. That brings my total to roughly half a dozen. If I thought really hard I'm sure I could come up with a couple dozen but after racking my brains for a while it was clear BYU people tend to marry BYU people. Even Ashleigh and Ryan from So You Think You Can Dance both attended BYU!

Miami believes part of the reason they have such a high merger rate is because of their relatively remote location which fosters a close-knit campus. Hmmmm, so what's BYU's excuse? Provo is anything but remote and I don't know if you could accurately measure raging RM hormones of a chaste people who are more than ready to tie the knot. But I still think that has something to do with it. Perhaps this is a bit controversial, but I also think BYU students purposely look for other BYU students to marry. Let's face it, there's a prestige to attending BYU and it's nice to have that accomplishment and experience in common. And nowhere on the face of the earth are you as likely to find someone who shares your values and beliefs than BYU. Not that it doesn't happen... In fact, many of the merger couples I know didn't meet at BYU; that connection was made later.

My POINT is that Miami seems to think they have one of the highest "merger" rates of all schools. Based on my informal survey of the BYU folks I know, the Cougars absolutely have to have a much, much higher rate than 14% (Brent's guess is 60%). It's actually harder for me to think of an exception to the merger rule than someone who follows the rule! Another point of this article is that couples are much more likely to give back to the university than couples where only one person attended Miami--a difference of 25% to 15%. Interestingly enough, the BYU alumni office called Brent and I just a couple of weeks ago asking for a donation which we were happy to make. We have fond memories of the place and will continue to support the institution.

So the only question remaining is: where's my Valentine's Day card from BYU???