I'm a bad wife. I picked up Brent from work today and having not prepared a darn thing for dinner, suggested Burger King. McDonalds is out of the question since we saw Supersize Me. Granted, Burger King probably isn't much better but it's on the way home and until I see a documentary about how evil they are, that's my fast food outlet. As I looked at my jr cheeseburger I was suddenly reminded of high school when I worked at Wendy's. To learn how to "build a sandwich" we had to watch a training video. This one was somewhat entertaining since it had a song that went something like this: WHITE, red ayand greeeeeeeeen! First the mayo, ketchup, pickles and then the color scheme repeated with onions, tomatoes and lettuce. Wow, to this day I'm probably still employable at Wendys. However, nothing motivated me towards college more than that job. I still remember the guy who was fired for stealing fries.This got me thinking of other jobs I carefully omit from my resume. My parents had a philosophy that summers were for working, not vacationing and anyone over the age of 11 had to be gainfully employed. If memory serves, we weren't let back into the house unless we'd gotten a job so it was either employment or homelessness. I've had jobs where that option was honestly a toss up. Since the illustrious fast food jobs weren't attainable until age 16, the summer I was 15 I found myself working the Iowa Conservation Corps. I planted an herb garden, rebuilt a porch, and cleared some brush in some forest. I also worked with a lot of other people who got the job so they could develop "character". The best day on the job was when two co-workers broke into a fist fight over the fact they didn't like how the other looked. Due to their rap sheets, police were called in for this one. That's when I learned if I'm ever in a fight to let the other person throw the first punch before tearing into them since that's all the po-po care about.
My older siblings had all detassled corn in the sweltering heat of Iowa summers and one summer I thought I'd
give it a go. I lasted a day. Ever heard of corn rash? That's what happens when your bare skin rubs against the stalks of corn. It's not as bad as say, poison oak but its also no dang fun. I remember that evening after a day of detassling as I sat in a tub trying to clean off the sweat, dirt and bugs from my stinging, burning, BRIGHT red skin. My ears were still ringing with the profanity of my fellow field workers. Even now I have a deep respect for the work ethic of my older sister and brothers. The detassling tradition in my family abruptly ended with me.Okay 3 people who read my blog, what past jobs don't make it on YOUR resume?
12 comments:
Babysitting. I was the queen of it in high school since I had no dating life. But after reading your post, I am so lucky that is the non-resume job I have
I cleaned office buildings for the better part of junior high and all through high school. This included scrubbing every toilet in the vincinity...ya, something I don't like to think about! Then I worked at the MTC training the elders how to clean toilets there. So I guess I got my revenge...watching others have to clean the toilets!
McDonalds has never made my resume. I only worked there for a short time but it was well worth it. We had the best crew and we had so much fun! To this day I have yet to see supersize it. I think I will probably pass on that one at this point.
I was a nanny for a summer when I as 14. Two girls, 2 and six months, M-F 8-5:30 pm. I rode my MOPED to their house every day. Other than that, I really only had two jobs throughout my high school "career." One, which EVERY Iowa kid should do, is indeed detasseling. Would I ever do it again, HELL NO! But I will tell you this, it's just an Iowa thing, and you can't truly call yourself an Iowan if you have never detasseled corn. My other job was the Hy Vee Deli. Which was a hard, dirty job, but TONS of fun. They hired me at 15 and I was the youngest person to ever be employed there. My brother's best friend worked there and put in a good word for me. I worked there all through the rest of High School and Jr. College. I seriously think I started out making $3.35 an hour, which was minimum wage. Pathetic. The missionaries lived across the street and always came for the dinner time buffets. I charged them a whopping 49 cents to eat until they could eat no more.
Right after I graduated from high school I worked as an electrician's assistant. While I didn't mind the occasional electrocution, I was scared of working with the guy who admitted to being high on the job. When he told me that, we were putting in a subbreaker capable of either killing me or at least giving me a ride in an ambulance. The foreman wasn't much better--he apparently did time for assault with intent to murder.
The summer after my freshman year of college, my uncle got me a job as a flagger for Humboldt County. You know the people that stand in the road holding a STOP/SLOW sign and letting the cars drive through one by one? And they are wearing a VERY fetching orange vest? Yes, That was me! 18 years old and so unhappy because I had no one to talk to me. Making no money an hour, this was the worst summer of my life. I complain about this job to friends but I would never put it on a resume. HUMILIATING!!!
THIS is what made your list??? THIS??? DUDE, how about the summer you and I spent working TWO FULL TIME JOBS? Do you remember sitting at a computer in a freezing cold basement until 4:30, and then going across the street to work with a bunch of rejects from the Jerry Springer show?? And the TRANNY?? I am surprised this is not mentioned in your blog as it clearly scarred us both. However! We had fun, and not just when that idiot got his tongue pierced and tried to eat Doritos right after.
The summer I was 17 I worked at the "50% OFF Card Shop." Re-matching envelopes in five LONG aisles of greeting cards. Every time you made even the SLIGHTEST mistake on a register, you had to call the manager over the loudspeaker so she could hear you in the back room and come briskly, angrily, to fix it. You could smell her perfume from 25 feet away; it's still instantly recognizable to me.
I spent a few months working at True Value Hardware in Iowa City. At the end of the night the Jr. employee (me)had to break down all of the card board boxes and stuff them into this giant compressor (bailer.) If the bailer was full you had a 45 minute job of wiring it down and loading it to the dock. It sucked. I can't tell you the number of times I would take card board boxes over to Sears because the bailer was full and I didn't want to mess with it.
I don't know how people at Lowes and Home Depot do it. There is NOTHING more boring than ordering boxes of #10 2.75 inch bolts with #10 1.25 lock washers and hex nuts. What a crock! Suck TWO TRUE VALUE!
The key to detasseling is NOT to get caught up in the heat, company or boredom of the job, but to groooooooooove baby! If you ever need $100 per acre, might I suggest a good set of gloves, a good set of headphones, and the soundtrack to "Good morning Vietnam," the music is swingin', and it gets you in a good groove for movin' through the field, "No where to run to baby, no where to hiiIIIIiiiiiide!" Martha and the VAN DELLAS, YES!
Other jobs, um, weighing trucks in a gravel pit, telemarketing with Matthew at a truly disreputable joint, aaaaand, geese. Temp secretary. I can't say as I'm extremely proud of my Quiltique job, but I did get to meet a lot of awesome quilters. :D
y'know i've been lucky in my jobs. i started working at 14 by teaching piano lessons. i did that until i moved and then taught ESL, english, and math my lasst two years of high school. i spent a few months at blimpie's which i remember as being incredibly free of needing much brain activity but also lacking in grease. since then it's been research assistant, legal intern, etc etc etc. i did do a temp job in HELL for a month. the department was closing so the position was to fill in the gaps left by those who'd already moved on. NOT a happy place and ten-keying all day gets tedious fast. but really, i don't have much to complain about.
I was a plumber for one day - actually only for about half of that first day. I was carrying two boxes of supplies and tools down a hill when I stepped wrong and hurt my back. Within about 20-minutes I couldn't even move and had to call Shawna to come take me to the ER. Come to find out the initial injury had actually taken place the prior weekend during one of those Church Thanksgiving Day "touch" football games. And thus ended my career as a "turd-herder".
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