I pose this question to Brent in regards to the children's Christmas party at his work. He responds dismissively, "It's Saturday so just something comfortable... jeans." Hmmmm, he mentioned Santa was going to be there. While I realize I'm pretty new at this whole parenting thing, I recall being amazed at how well-dressed the children at the mall were waiting to sit on Santa's lap. It's a photo op. Some parents even make ornaments out of them. Kind of a big deal.
Are you sure? There aren't going to be kids in like, super nice outfits are there?
Again, Brent dismissively assures me it's SATURDAY which is code for casual. I quickly decide on my own outfit: skinny jeans, high heals and my fuzzy pink sweater which is carefully stowed in a plastic bag for much of the year. I throw my hair in a chignon and put on only light makeup. I'm trying to convey the message that I'm impossibly put together for the mother of an 8-month old and my husband's success extends well beyond his position there at work. Then I consider Liesel's outfit. Something festive for sure. I settle on a red sweater with jeans and then fearing she'd look too much like a boy, I throw on her red and white lace socks. To top it off (pun intended), I force her into the scratchy Santa hat we bought on a whim at Target a week ago. As I strap Liesel into her car seat Brent comes out with no coat. He's always insisting he runs hot and I'm always begging him to blend with the crowd and cover up. This time I also remind him his work is located in the seaport district where it's always much colder than inland. He runs into the house and in a flash he's back in his over sized BYU windbreaker. The one that's big enough for a linebacker to wear... with his football gear on. *sigh* I'd been thinking something more along the lines of his black, leather jacket but you have to pick your battles.
Upon arriving at Brent's work he shows us around before we head down to the party. We ran into his old boss who has three kids in tow. I notice the children are in matchy-matchy argyle outfits. Ooookay... maybe it's just because that's the boss? We head down to the party and there are all the children in their red velvet/plaid satin/sparkling silver outfits. The boys have chunky sweaters with matching pants and socks. The girls have white tights and patent leather shoes not to mention silk ribbons in their hair. The good news is my outfit was right on cue. Every woman there is wearing essentially the same thing. Liesel on the other hand is looking a tad... well... off. Even with the Santa hat she's just a little under dressed. When I talked to Brent about it afterwards he was a bit sheepish. I'd been right to inquire about a dress code; even if that dress code was unspoken.
What I find fascinating about all this is it seems to be a gender thing. Pretty much every married woman I know has a story similar to this. Men may make fun of us for staring at a closet full of clothes and exclaiming, "I have NOTHING to wear" because they don't understand this fundamental truth: always obey the dress code. You don't want to be THAT woman who's ridiculously under/overdressed. It indicates arrogance or ignorance or worse, BOTH. Yet for the average male, it barely escapes their notice if someones appearance is out of kilter with the event at hand. Why is that anyway? If a man showed up to a black tie wedding in jeans all he'd remember is that he was really comfortable that day, not that he was horrifyingly inappropriate. Ladies, back me up here?
4 comments:
See, I grew up hearing that guys didn't pay attention to The Dress Code, and I thought it was just another of those pervasive urban myths, like every guy hates his mother-in-law and women are all about jewelry. Because MY dad was always the one dressed uber-appropriately. (At something like the work party you speak of, he'd wear a tucked-in long-sleeved polo shirt, starched and belted khakis, and a nice pair of moccasin-type loafers.)
Then I got married.
And now I know that if I want my husband to show up to something termed "casual" in anything other than jeans and a funny T-shirt, I have to warn him several hours in advance.
(Oh, and you looked fabulous. That sweater!)
This is also why women have to have options. For example, jeans are casual, but there is a LEVEL of casual. Are they with high heels? (or "heals" as you say) or are they distressed, with low heels? or are they destroyed jeans with running shoes? because sometimes that is akin to wearing sweats.
This really is annoying to me, especially when interviewing for a job. Mom always made me wear church clothes, which made it awkward when I was uh, 16 and trying to get a job at the grocery store.
I love the BYU windbreaker, though!! Where is the picture of Brent and the windbreaker??
I still think Liesel looks cute. Her cute-ness overwhelms the jeans anyway. However, I can understand how much it would bug you, because she has the cadillac wardrobe! So many options that would have "topped" the argyle matchy-people.
Oh and ps..i love your poll question. I'm glad i could choose more than one option because they are all friggin' annoying!
i couldn't decide which i detested more in your poll, so i voted for all of them.
and i agree with reagan, running shoes w/ jeans are as bad as sweats. we hates it. or white socks with black shoes. don't get that one.
I hear ya. I went to Matthew's work party in slacks and hose which looked wildly out of place during the ping pong tournament. Sometimes you could just strangle them!
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