Liesel Can DANCE!!!

Brent conceded to letting me post this video (sorry it's sideways, I'm still new to this). With a weary sigh he said, "Yeah go ahead. I'm a dad now so I can't get embarrassed anymore."

Enjoy!!!

Question

I learned long ago that daytime TV is pretty bad. Actually, it wasn't all THAT long ago... it was when I broke both my arms a last year. It was in March and I was on heavy medication. The icy conditions, my injuries and my fuzzy head would have been a lethal combination outdoors so I was stuck on the couch. Even on percocet I knew what basic cable had to offer during the day was simply awful. Now that I find myself once again at home while everyone else trudges off to work I'm faced with the abysmal choices of daytime TV. I don't always watch the proffered programs, but Liesel's daycare suggested we keep a constant strain of noise around her. That way she'll be able to sleep through other kids crying and such. Sooo I'm once again reminded of how bad it gets, even if it's just snippets at a time.

When Liesel requires an early morning feeding I don't mind the news at say 4 or 5 AM. It actually makes me feel sharp as I listen to how the Dow is doing, what the traffic report is calling for and what's happened in other parts of the world as I slept. This is the news for serious businessmen. From there it degenerates hour by hour into anecdotal local news and celebrity gossip. Then there are the morning shows. I just have to walk away from those. Kathy Lee Gifford is no more entertaining now than she was when she was paired with Regis. And Regis is clearly not as charmed with the irritatingly skinny Kelly as the audience. And Kelly needs to stop making smart little jokes about Oprah.

Mid-day is my only respite with the People's Court-type shows. I love the women judges who scream at the low-lifes. The litigious people and the defendants always seem to be blithely unaware that the judge has already READ the case. She knows the answers to the questions she's asking them, she's just checking to see how HONEST they are. Oh, and judges hang out with other judges. Duh!!! I especially can't help but smile when the judges jump down the throats of the deadbeat dads.

"Do you have children?"

"Yes I do Sir... I mean Ma'am. A 3-year-old with my ex-wife."

"Aaaaaand are you up to date on your child support?"

"Uhhhh, I recently moved and...."

"I didn't ASK if your address had changed, I ASKED if you're up to date on your child support! This is a simple yes or no question!!!"

"No Sir, I'm a little behind."

"So you don't have time to find yourself a job to take care of your child but you have time to get yourself a girlfriend, convince HER to pay $2000 for your teeth whitening and then crash her car outside a casino? Ruling is in favor of the plaintiff... get him out of my courtroom bailiff!"

Love it, love it, LOVE it!

I think the worst part in all this has to be the commercials because they're the SAME ones day in, day out. There are the ones for technical colleges. Then there's the "Have you been injured in an accident?" ones (when I broke my arms I was tempted to call and see if I could get any money for tripping over my own feet). The I Ching of bad commercials is the one for Empire. At the end they have two big-headed cartoon guys. One of them is putting up blinds while the other lays hardwood floors in half the room and carpet in the other half. A couch slides in at the end with a dog on it. Who is stupid enough to do a room with half hardwood and half UGLY carpet? And since when is a pet on the couch adorable (hello hair?). Not to mention the big heads... it's just creepy. The jingle at the end is the worst and I rush to mute it every time it comes on. Whoever is in charge of THAT Marketing Department needs to be fired. It's probably someone with a very big head and a dog that permanently lives on the couch *shudders*

Why oh why does daytime TV have to be so bad???

P.S. Posted by Danika under Brent's sign in.

Liesel Grace 5/11

New pictures

Workin' Nine to Five

I'm a bad wife. I picked up Brent from work today and having not prepared a darn thing for dinner, suggested Burger King. McDonalds is out of the question since we saw Supersize Me. Granted, Burger King probably isn't much better but it's on the way home and until I see a documentary about how evil they are, that's my fast food outlet. As I looked at my jr cheeseburger I was suddenly reminded of high school when I worked at Wendy's. To learn how to "build a sandwich" we had to watch a training video. This one was somewhat entertaining since it had a song that went something like this: WHITE, red ayand greeeeeeeeen! First the mayo, ketchup, pickles and then the color scheme repeated with onions, tomatoes and lettuce. Wow, to this day I'm probably still employable at Wendys. However, nothing motivated me towards college more than that job. I still remember the guy who was fired for stealing fries.

This got me thinking of other jobs I carefully omit from my resume. My parents had a philosophy that summers were for working, not vacationing and anyone over the age of 11 had to be gainfully employed. If memory serves, we weren't let back into the house unless we'd gotten a job so it was either employment or homelessness. I've had jobs where that option was honestly a toss up. Since the illustrious fast food jobs weren't attainable until age 16, the summer I was 15 I found myself working the Iowa Conservation Corps. I planted an herb garden, rebuilt a porch, and cleared some brush in some forest. I also worked with a lot of other people who got the job so they could develop "character". The best day on the job was when two co-workers broke into a fist fight over the fact they didn't like how the other looked. Due to their rap sheets, police were called in for this one. That's when I learned if I'm ever in a fight to let the other person throw the first punch before tearing into them since that's all the po-po care about.

My older siblings had all detassled corn in the sweltering heat of Iowa summers and one summer I thought I'd give it a go. I lasted a day. Ever heard of corn rash? That's what happens when your bare skin rubs against the stalks of corn. It's not as bad as say, poison oak but its also no dang fun. I remember that evening after a day of detassling as I sat in a tub trying to clean off the sweat, dirt and bugs from my stinging, burning, BRIGHT red skin. My ears were still ringing with the profanity of my fellow field workers. Even now I have a deep respect for the work ethic of my older sister and brothers. The detassling tradition in my family abruptly ended with me.

Okay 3 people who read my blog, what past jobs don't make it on YOUR resume?

Kleptomaniac

As Liesel's blessing day approached this past week Brent and I were invaded with visitors. In preparation for the onslaught of adoring grandparents, we took a trip to Shaws to ensure we'd have well-stocked pantries.

When I went away for college I used to thoroughly enjoy going to the store. I'd peruse the aisles and try out foods my mother never bought. That's when I learned I really like rye. I'd been raised on only white and wheat. I also delighted in purchasing smooth peanut butter because my mother believed peanut butter needed "texture" so we only ever had chunky. I finally bought skim milk because that's what I wanted. Ahhh, back in those days the stocked shelves were a delight to me.

Something changed when I began to notice how much money a trip to the grocery store could cost. Then I took stock of how much time a trip to the store ate into an evening. After a while I considered where all that time and money EVENTUALLY went... right down the toilet and the grocery store gradually lost it's appeal. Now I try to go grocery shopping the same way I'd rob a bank. Get in, get the goods and get out. I'm not opposed to speed walking up and down the aisles even.

Now that we've been married for a while, Brent and I have the grocery store errand down to an art. We start at produce, then the deli, work our way through the starches and breads and end with the dairy. Brent is particular about his apples and on this trip I left him to grab some lettuce. I walked back towards Brent, and put the lettuce in the cart and started to head to the deli. Perhaps it was kismet, but something told me to turn around. I did so in just enough time to watch Brent walk over to our REAL cart and put his apples in there.

How did I know it was our cart? Because it had the shopping list in it, the one we make before even attempting to go to the store so we don't spend any more time there than necessary. Frantically, I realized I'd stolen someone's grocery cart. Quickly I scanned the produce section and spied a guy with some bananas in his hand looking completely shocked, then incredibly irritated. Based on the look on his face, I could almost hear him thinking, "Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln who would STEAL a grocery cart?" This was going to be embarrassing.

Sheepishly I ran over to him with his cart and explained I thought it was ours. Around this time, Brent clued in to what happened and when I walked over to him I whispered the story under my breath. Wanting to get out of the situation and away from the gentleman as quickly as I could, I hurried Brent out of produce. Just as we were achieving some distance, Brent yelled across the produce section, "SORRY AGAIN!!!" Aye mi, not my finest moment for sure.

Liesel's Blessing pictures

New pictures of Liesel from her blessing!