Ode to Aunt Katrina

Katrina had been gently, then strongly, then urgently insisting I send Brigitta out to her for some time this summer. Even though they share the same name, they'd never met face to face and well, it was high time. Although the prospect of some relief from our biggest troublemaker for a couple of weeks was extremely tempting, ultimately Brent and I felt Brigitta is just too young. While I rehashed this sentiment to Katrina, I felt the weight of a summer with all the girls at home and loads of YW tasks ahead of me. I was drowning and I angrily blurted out that Katrina should just come to Illinois since taking Brigitta to Utah just wasn't going to work. Katrina calmly said, "OK, I'll call you back." By the end of the day, she'd booked a flight. 

I adore my family. Just having Katrina around to steady my frantic nerves would have been enough, but she went all out for this visit. She bought each of the girls a new outfit in coordinating colors. She brought them each gifts. Sydney, who is in the throes of stranger anxiety, immediately warmed up to Katrina when she was handed a bag of mini mint Milano cookies. I'll never forget Sydney clinging to that bag and eyeing Katrina with a look that said, "Are you going to take these away from me?" As Katrina continued to smile at her, she secured her spot as favorite aunt in Sydney's mind. Katrina brought me fabric, and little things to help me in my new calling.

Katrina took the little ones to the mall so Brent and I could clean the carpets. She was there for six hours! Can you entertain little ones that long (sans nap no less)? I certainly can't! Every time I asked how they were doing, she sent a picture and insisted they were doing just fine. 

They went to the play land: 

To Sephora to try on some lip gloss:

To the "Sniff Store" aka Yankee Candle where they treated their olfactory region to a panoply of aromas. The girls were thrilled to get a tiny candle in their favorite scent:

To the Lego Store:

To Claire's where she treated them to sparkly Prom jewelry:

To the kiosk selling flat irons where they demonstrated how hair can be curled using Brigitta's locks. Katrina said Brigitta single-handedly increased business ten-fold:

Katrina took them to the Tempurpedic store where each of the girls received a sample of their memory foam- it never occurred to me before how those would make great doll beds. She treated them to lunch at McDonalds. I still can't believe she was able to entertain the girls for six hours at the mall!!!

A couple of days later, I had a meeting with my Personal Progress Coordinator. Katrina noticed the Pilot was in need of an oil change and volunteered to take the two little ones to take care of it. WHO DOES THAT?!?!?! I could have kissed her feet. I had a quiet house which made for an extremely effective meeting and she brought the car and kids back in better shape than they had been. The Honda dealership has little kiddie packets and the girls had fun with the included masks. My little mouse:

And Zebra:

It was just so good to have Katrina around. She had a heart to heart with Liesel about being a good big sister and even told her about the time she broke my collar bone and how she still feels bad about it. I've been on Liesel to be nicer to her younger sisters for months but she really took Katrina's advice to heart. Ireland is always in desperate need of some cuddles and it was just lovely to have someone willing to just hold her so I could get a thing or two done. I know Katrina was anxious to connect with Brigitta (and did they ever!) but I really loved seeing her with Sydney. Sydney is pretty discriminating when it comes to doling out affection and she accepted Katrina immediately. 

We snuck away for a Girl's Night and I insisted we go to Buffalo Wings & Rings. If you think you've had good buffalo wings, you're wrong. 

They look delicious:

They taste delicious:

They are the epitome of delicious:

An evening of excellent conversation with my sister set me up for a good, long time. 

It just so happens that Brigitta had a study at the University of Chicago the day Katrina flew home. I very rarely get pictures of the girls during their studies because I'm usually wrestling another one, but Katrina snapped one for me:

Perhaps it's random, but I particularly loved having Katrina there for the study. When I tell people I have the girls participate in psychology studies, I often get a confused reaction... like I'm having them put through electroshock therapy or something. Katrina could actually see where we go and what we do and how much the girls love it. She was also able to snap a picture of this sign on Lakeshore Dr. which makes me giddy every time I see it.

With the few hours remaining, I really wanted to play a bit with Katrina but wasn't sure we could fit in everything. The gods were smiling down on us as parking spots opened and wait times were non-existent. We stopped at Ditka's for the famous pot roast nachos:

These two are demonstrating their tongue rolling skills. Mad skillz.

 Then we headed to Sephora for some fun. Sephora and sisters go together like peanut butter and chocolate.

Time was getting tight and we barely got Katrina to the airport in time to get through security and get to her gate. Chock full of good memories, we said goodbye...:

...except for one little snafu. See the bracelet Katrina has on in the above photo? That is a Pinterest-inspired bullet casing bracelet. I have two of them and when Katrina admired it at breakfast, I insisted she take one. It didn't occur to either of us that residual gunpowder would get her flagged at security. Really, she barely made her flight!

We were all so sad to see Katrina go. I love my big sister for her generosity, her creativity and her humor. She held me together as I crashed into my calling and she loved my little girls as her own. I'm glad Brigitta shares her name:

We love you Aunt Katrina!!!

Happy Memorial Day

I love how Memorial Day gives me the excuse to dress my girls in little sailor dresses! Liesel and Brigitta's dresses have been sitting in their closets for months waiting for their debut. Oh my gosh, this is the best part about having little girls!!! Aren't they freakishly adorable?

I was thrilled to find I've finally lost enough baby weight to slip into my own sweet sailor jacket I bought years ago from Anthropologie. Why hello old friend! Mother's Day was such an emotional affair, I never got a picture with my daughters. This will have to do!

Cheers to my sweet husband who tolerates these after church pictures when everyone is going crazy from three hours of meetings and he just wants to get dinner settled. He also tolerates my crazed sailor dress hunting. I should probably start shopping for next year to get a head start...

Right Brent?

A New Calling

Oh wow... how to even start with this one. Hmmmmm, well let's start with the evening Bishop extended the call for me to teach Sunday School to the 17 year olds. As he described the class (all boys) I felt more and more lost. I expressed my concern that I am the mother of 4 tiny daughters and my world is ribbons, tulle skirts and fancy hairdos. Bishop looked me in the eye and expressed his confidence that this was the right call for me. Ooohkay then, I decided to move forward with faith. 

Bishop was right. As I eased into teaching these boys, I came to love them for their individuality, their honesty, and their testimonies. I looked forward to every Sunday and while I had some lessons that were wins and others that were misses, we grew close as a class. The four boys I began with in September were supposed to move up in January but I begged Bishop to let me keep them. He gave me a wry smile when I made the request and I blushed remembering all my initial hesitations. 

During General Conference weekend, Bishop stopped by to extend another call- this time as Young Women President. My heart sank and I out and out sobbed at the thought of no longer teaching my boys. As Brent and I talked it over, we agreed it would be good for me to really get to know the Young Women organization inside and out before my own girls are old enough to attend. My boys were all graduating from high school and headed out to college and missions in a few months anyway. It's not like I could be with them forever. So I tearfully accepted the call after negotiating an extra week to stay with my class.

Today I was released and sustained as Young Women President. Headed to my class to teach one last time, I was stopped every few feet with hugs, congratulations and words of encouragement from members of our ward. I had a wonderful final lesson. The boys all gave a one sentence testimony of the gospel starting with, "I know..." The Spirit was thick and for the millionth time in the past month, I cried. I told them that the Lord had blessed our family with four wonderful, intelligent, humorous, entertaining, beautiful little girls who are my heart and soul. That said, we will never have sons. Looking around the room at these young men, I thanked them for being my boys. This time I wasn't alone in my weeping; a couple of them wiped away tears.

This is the photo we took just after class. I would walk through fire for each and every one of those boys. 

By this time, my emotions were rubbed down to a completely raw and exposed nerve. I had cried my weight in tears. I didn't think I could handle giving each boy an individual hug so I demanded a group hug instead. Just rip off the band-aid, I thought. Then those boys tightly surrounded me in the most tender group hug I've ever been until I was literally encircled about by love. Brent caught this photo for which I am forever grateful.

It felt wrong to just leave. But again, I couldn't follow them around forever. So in the weeks leading up to my release as Sunday School teacher, I decided to make them a CD of songs that have meant a lot to me at different points in my life. I figured maybe they could help them at some point too. Here is the list:

1.  Geronimo by Sheppard For when you need to summon your courage: So it’s here I stand as a broken man but I’ve found my friend at the curtains of the waterfall.

2. Vienna (SMASH Cast Version) [feat Christian Borle]For when you are impatient:  Where’s the fire? What’s the hurry about? You’d better cool it off before you burn it out.

3. Love Stinks by The J. Geils Band For when you are heartbroken: This thing they call love, it’s gonna make you cry.

4. Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears For when you are craving popcorn: Welcome to your life; there’s no turning back.

5. Man in the Mirror (acoustic) by James Morrison For when you’re tired of the status quo: If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change.

6. Say by John Mayer For when you’re finding your voice: Even if your hands are shaking and your faith is broken; even as the eyes are closing, do it with a heart wide open.

7. I Want to Break Free by Queen

For when you are breaking hearts: I can’t get over the way you love me like you do, but I have to be sure when I walk out that door, oh how I want to be free.

8. Will You Be There by Michael Jackson For when God feels far away: Everyone's taking control of me; seems that the world's got a role for me. I'm so confused; will you show to me you'll be there for me and care enough to bear me?

9. Kings and Queens by 30 Seconds to Mars For when you wonder where you fit in: We were the kings and queens of promise.

10. Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World For when you are feeling alone: May angels lead you in…

11. It’s My Life (remix) by Bon Jovi For when you are procrastinating: It’s now or never; I ain’t gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I’m alive.

12. The Never Ending Story by Miu Sakamoto For when you need an eternal perspective: Given in the light, written on the pages is the answer to a never ending story.

13. Love You ‘Till the End by The Pogues For when you’ve found “The One”: I just want to be there when the morning light explodes on your face, it radiates.

14. Bella’s Finals: Price Tag/Don’t You (Forget About Me)/Give Me Everything/Just the Way You Are/Party In the USA/Turn the Beat Around by The Barden Bellas—Pitch Perfect (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)For when you want to reminisce: Don’t you forget about me.

Even if my boys hate this music and the CDs end up in a garbage somewhere, it was something I felt strongly compelled to do. When I'd said goodbye to my last student, I ugly cried all over the shoulder of Brent's suit: melting makeup, gasping sobs and even a little drool. My heart literally ached. Then I wiped my eyes, took a few deep breaths and headed off to Young Women.

In many ways, I feel like Young Women is the sorority that I can't seem to pledge to because I've never been asked to serve there. All of my girlfriends and female relatives have taken a turn (and loved it!) but for some reason, it's an organization in the church that has eluded me. I'm utterly terrified- I'm still fairly new to the ward so I don't know everyone yet, I know almost no one at the stake level, I have a vague (and that's being generous) idea of how things work, but for the most part I am lost, lost, lost. When I mentioned this to Bishop, he just looked me in the eye and expressed his confidence. Ooohkay then... moving forward with faith. 

Flowers from my sister-in-law Vanessa after I told her how terrified I was of being Young Women President. In the card she told me I would rock this. Love that girl.