The first 2/3 of the month were packed to the brim with obligations and then once the kids were on break. we were finally able to slow down and enjoy the holidays a bit. Brigitta had her first band concert.
We found Italian restaurants were most likely to have foods I could eat as I prepared for gall bladder surgery. There was a gaggle of older woman at this one and I overheard one telling a friend she told her kids the second she can't take care of herself, they are to put her in assisted living. She was determined to never be a burden or concern for them as they had their own lives and challenges to navigate. It was a record scratch moment as I've been consumed with worry over my own aging parents and the best way to move forward with their care.
Our old dance studio was fine with Vans for hip hop class and socks for Lyrical or Ballet. The girls were encouraged to just wear something comfortable they could move in. Each class was separate so only Gita took tap. The new studio has traditional combo classes of Ballet, Tap and Jazz- all of which require the appropriate shoes. The girls are required to wear appropriate dance wear and have their hair up. Honestly I'm excited because I think dressing the part gets you into a head space to perform your best. However, there is a downside. This tidy pile of dance shoes totaled $500! It would have been more but I think the sales associate took pity on my and gave me a 10% discount.
Anyone casually shopping in the store became a curious onlooker as we fitted all four girls with the shoes they needed. At a certain point you really have to be dedicated to dance because it is a lot: financially, physically and time-wise.
The name of the new store at the mall made us laugh.
I couldn't help but laugh as Liesel described the trouble with the mouse she had to dissect in Biology.
Brigitta submitted her drawing for the ugly sweater contest. She did not win.
Reagan gave me a Jersey Mike's gift card for my birthday so I decided to take the girls on a little dinner date!
Every now and again all I want is a really good sandwich and this place hits the spot!
While we ate, the conversation turned to whether Whitney is having a boy or a girl. I love how the girls react to the question. Liesel really thinks about it. When I tell the girls to listen to their gut, Gita yells at her belly, "What is it?!?!"
We always love having the sisters around!
Katrina's gift to the girls came early- custom eggs she took months to research, hand draw and then paint one color at a time in layers. They are so delicate and so incredibly beautiful! She even incorporated their personal symbol into each of them.
Sydney:
Brigitta:
Ireland:
Liesel:
Brent and I got all gussied up for his company's work party. We chatted with some colleagues I'd never met, some old friends and managed to find some time to ourselves. I was still preparing for surgery so I just nibbled on some of the delectable offerings.
The drink offerings were really fantastic! They had a couple of non-alcoholic beverages and I fell into conversation with one of the bartenders. I asked her if she could tell who are the power players in the room and she said they are usually surrounded by a lot of people- and are never near the bar because people with fetch their drinks for them.
I love Gita's boundless energy and enthusiasm! When she realized she left out a dad gummy bear for the "wonderful family", she just grabbed one from the other side of the house and tucked him in there. Then putting a gummy bear face down to be the family dog? Genius. I particularly love that she didn't let the failed chocolate chip details that didn't work out ruin the project- she just decided that was a pile of dog poop bc he'd had Taco Bell.
Who thinks of that kind of thing? Well, my Gita girl, that's who.
This may be one of my all-time favorite videos of the girls dancing. Great song and great moves- I really love how the girls squeal when Brent joins them. I sent it to my parents and they absolutely loved it!
After a disastrous Christmas, Brent and I were wary to treat the girls for a fun time at the Great Wolf Lodge. To prove they would be kind and responsible, we told them the house had to be spotless. Their rooms had to be not just clean, but organized as well. They jumped into action and sure enough, the house was looking just lovely by the time we backed out of the driveway.
We could enter the waterpark before being checked in so the girls and I headed there and started enjoying all the slides. The line to check in was pretty long and we knew Brent would be there for a while. Turns out the reservation was under my name and on my card so Brent had to find me and I headed to the front desk dripping wet. Once that was accomplished, everyone was finally able to enjoy the park.
There's something about a lazy river I really enjoy. Whether it's the gentle flow of water or being able to meander around the park- I'm not sure but I truly love a good lazy river and we spent a fair amount of time on it!
The holiday stress melted away and everyone just had fun.
It was actually pretty rare to have everyone together because Sydney loved the wave pool and Brigitta wanted to do
LOL- this is the very first ride I went on and it was with Ireland. I thought I remembered it well from the Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls and we all call it the Toilet Bowl. Somehow I managed to forget the huge drop right at the beginning and my scream caught in my throat. Ireland and I had a good laugh at that but after that Brent (and his heft which made for a more thrilling ride) took each of the girls in turn while I took a video.
Brent and Liesel:
Brent and Ireland:
Brent and Gita:
Brent and Sydney:
Ireland was my buddy when I became water-logged and just couldn't be on the slides anymore. We retired to the room a little early, ravenous from a day of cleaning, packing, traveling and then playing in the water. Brent ordered pizzas and once they arrived, we devoured slice after slice after slice.
The next day we hit the slides again and headed home just after sunset. In the end, we really needed the break. The change of scene was perfect and even though we were only there for 2 days, it really helped to just get away. It was a great way to cap off 2022!
I usually begin prepping for Christmas around July. Nothing in earnest, I just start tuning in a little more to my conversations with the girls and my family about what interests them. Listening for hints of something that might make a good gift down the road. I start pricing things out and if there is a good sale, take the plunge. This is also when I start hiding said gifts and inevitably every year I forget where I cleverly hid them. I start thinking about our Christmas card- my favorite part of the holidays! It's subtle at first, but builds as the year goes on. Putting up decorations is exhausting. Brent is "bad" at wrapping so I do all of it, all the while suspicious that he could learn but just doesn't want to. I fret over the budget and inevitably splurge on something that will make the holidays just right. It's a Herculean amount of work making the holidays magical for everyone.
So when the girls started bickering first thing on Christmas morning, I gently told them to stop. Almost as if I didn't even exist, they went right back to bickering and again, I told them to stop. Things quieted a bit and yet again, they went back to the inane argument they were having and something inside me snapped. I stormed into the room and screamed at them. I had put in SO much work and if they were going to be so ungrateful, we would not be opening presents that morning- not even stockings. They could eat the breakfast that Brent was preparing, but that's it. I was cancelling Christmas morning.
The girls sullenly sat through breakfast as I fumed more and more. I ordered them back to bed- obviously they didn't get enough rest while Brent and I talked about what to do. We considered not ever having them open their gifts. We also considered opening their gifts in front of them and then returning them. We'd planned an overnight stay at the Great Wolf Lodge and we called to see if we could get a smaller room, just for us, so we could leave the girls home to think about their atrocious behavior. Liesel overheard us and reported to the girls that ok, this was legit, we were REALLY mad. They approached us for an apology and I laid out how much work I'd put into making Christmas an incredible day for them. Yet they couldn't even refrain from fighting for one day to make sure I had a good Christmas. We sent them all back to their rooms.
Of course it was a Sunday so we had church right smack dab in the middle of this mess. We sat stonily in our pew and quickly left after it was over. At home we told the girls to change and said fine, go enjoy your stockings. Normally we have a fire in the fireplace and play Christmas music. Instead we let it be awkward and quiet- only throwing out a comment about how I'd searched for that item months ago, I put a lot of thought into it. We moved to the Christmas tree to go through the same thing. Normally whoever just got a gift gets to select the next person to get a gift. When they tentatively offered me one, I tossed it to the side. I didn't want gifts, I just didn't want them to fight on Christmas day and that was already shot. Some of them cried. I refused to take any photos. I did not want photographic evidence of this day.
Perhaps I should have fallen on the sword and pushed aside the fact that the girls were being selfish and scrambled to make sure they had a magical Christmas in spite of everything. With Brent's support, I took a different approach that hopefully with stick in their brains for all time. I truly believe that by and large, people only treat you as badly as you allow them to. I never again wanted to spend Christmas morning listening to my girls fight when I have worked SO HARD to make everything lovely! Brent and I decided to make sure the girls knew they had not just crossed a line, they were so far beyond the line it was hideous. We are hopeful that this will never, EVER happen again, not just at Christmas, but at any major occasion. Remember the time you ruined Christmas with your fighting? Remember how that turned out? Stop. Just STOP!!!
We gave them the remainder of the day to toe the line and if they could control themselves, we would still go to The Great Wolf Lodge. But if they couldn't resist fighting, not only was that off the table but a possible Disneyland trip was as well. No way would we spend the thousands of dollars that trip takes if they were just going to fight.
It was the saddest Christmas I've ever had. It completely broke my heart.
It's actually been a minute since we've visited the MOSI and it was good to be back. We wandered among the many Christmas trees- I'm plotting to get another tree next year so we have two: a fancy tree and a kid tree. Seeing all the different decorations gave me some ideas and I'm currently thinking about a Scottish-themed tree bedecked with tartan ribbon and I dunno- bagpipes or something?
We checked in on the baby chicks which Sydney particularly loved.
Even the incubator was decorated for Christmas!
Brigitta, Ireland and Sydney are really into Stranger Things and there's a girl who can do lightning or something... I don't entirely get it... but we had fun taking photos that made it appear the girls have superhuman powers!
Liesel throwing lightning into the Tesla coils.
Ireland and I snuck into the Your Beginning section and watched the prenatal development video. With Whitney's pregnancy, this is on my mind lately. We stopped by the fetus that is about the same size hers is right now.
We planned to go to Cafe Medici for dinner but found it closed for the holidays. Makes sense since the University of Chicago is one break but we were a little bummed. Pressed for time, we found a 5 Guys nearby which sounded fine and dandy to everyone so we stopped there. We wanted to find decent parking and good seats at Rockefeller Chapel so we headed over early. As luck would have it, we found a great parking spot right next to the chapel so we hopped over the snowbank and headed inside.
I love this program! I love the feeling of warmth that spreads through the chapel as Silent Night is sung and slowly everyone's candle is lit.
I love the children who participate in the Nativity and I love singing carols in such a beautiful place with huge heavy wood doors and soaring ceilings and stained glass that glowed as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky. We ran into some senior missionaries on our way out who were a bit startled when we said hi. I tried to explain we are from the Crystal Lake 1st ward and they caught on that we are also members but still seemed a bit confused.
On the way home we were able to see downtown Chicago all decked out in red and green lights, a friendly reminder of the season.
My Aunt Beck has a fantastic tradition in her family we decided to borrow. I bought a set of Christmas bells on a leather strap and starting with Sydney, she laid out all her presents and when she was done she rang the bells letting Gita know it was her turn and so on and so forth until Brent and I were the only ones left to lay presents under the tree.
I really loved watching the tree go from bare to packed with presents!
I snapped a quick picture of the girls in their Christmas pj's and they were off to their sister sleepover in Brigitta and Ireland's room.
Brent and I watched Better Off Dead while we stuffed stockings and then Meet Me in St Louis to boot while we snuggled on the couch. There's something about the tiny space between all the crazy Christmas preparations and the big day itself. The small moment of quiet and togetherness we get to sneak in. Man alive, I had no idea how much this year I needed it!
Following my routine physical with the routine blood draw, I received a call from my PCP's office. My bilirubin level was really high... three times higher than normal, so I needed an ultrasound to see what was going on. The nurse suggested I stop drinking and I told her I'd never had a drink in my life. She insisted she was just reading the instructions and said even if I just have a glass of wine with dinner, I should give that up until they can look into it more. Again I insisted I don't drink, but given my numbers, I got the feeling she didn't entirely believe me.
The ultrasound tech was a huge guy with an eastern European accent. A few minutes into the ultrasound I asked if everything looked ok and he gruffly told me I would have to follow up with my doctor. The next day my doctor called just before 5. My phone was on silent so it rolled to voicemail. I called back and left a message since the office was closed and made a mental note to call again first thing in the morning. To my surprise, he called back immediately. Red flags go off in my mind if certain people are talking to me urgently after hours: a doctor and a policeman. Something was up.
The ultrasound showed that I had significant gallstones and my gallbladder was inflamed. My doctor asked why I wasn't doubled over in pain because according to the images, I should be. I felt around my abdomen and noticed a stiffness under my ribs on the right side I guess I'd been ignoring. He asked if the pharmacy on file was the closest one to me and if I could go immediately so I could start two very strong antibiotics to help with the inflammation. He also wanted to prevent the possibility of sepsis because I definitely needed surgery. Oh, also I would have to begin a diet void of any food with joy. No dairy, red meat, fat, sugar. A really fun diet to launch into just before the holidays!
On the surface I felt it was no big deal. This was such a routine surgery, everything would be just fine. In the back of my mind that comment about sepsis hung over me. If I died, that would ruin the holidays for my girls for the rest of their lives. The antibiotics left me feeling awful, the new diet was miserable, getting time off work was a nightmare and when the day finally arrived, I just wanted to get it over with. The Sunday before, a woman at church asked me when my surgery was and I told her and then she stopped, looked me right in the eye and said, "You're going to be ok." I burst into tears. The day before my surgery, I contacted two of my closest mission companions and asked them to pray for me. Their responses brought tears to my eyes. The blessings of serving a mission! I'd heard these ladies pray, and I knew their sincerity and faith. If ever I needed a word in my favor, it was today.
Brent threw out his back and was in some pain of his own so I second guessed asking him for a blessing before surgery. I imagined it going something like this: Danika the LOOOOORD wants you to *gasp* knowhelovesyou and uh, AHHHH THIS HURTS has a plan for you." He did just fine though.
I asked for specialists to place the IV and just before it went in I glanced over. They were amazing, it didn't hurt but still that image... I was also given a pregnancy test. Brent and I laughed and told the nurse if I was pregnant we would buy her a steak dinner with a bottle of wine. She was clearly bummed when I was (predictably) not pregnant. My surgeon had gone to another hospital where she was delayed so there was an entire shift change by the time she came back. Initially, I was against the Versed but I had been waiting so long I figured why not? The hospital corridor became a magical corridor as I was wheeled to surgery.
When I was told to wake up, I felt awful. I mean- REALLY awful! My abdomen hurt and because of that moving anything else hurt, especially my legs. I was super nauseated and the neon lights seared into my eyes even though I kept them closed. Through the hustle and bustle of the nurses, they told me they'd address the nausea first and then the pain. I'm guessing they didn't want me to vomit and make a mess. Eventually, I felt less dreadful, but I had to do some things before I could be discharged like keep down some food, use the restroom and walk around. Each one was laborious but I was desperate to get out of there and home to my comfortable bed. I married the right man for this. Brent was with me every step of the way. When we finally arrived home, there was a bouquet of flowers from my fellow Chicago workers. I knew none of them had a lot of money to spare, and the gesture was incredibly touching.
Everyone who'd had gallbladder surgery told me it was easy, an outpatient procedure. They made it sound like getting a filling at the dentist. It took me a while to recover. Surgery is still surgery. I'm glad it's over though- not just because we'd already met our deductible for the year. I was glad I survived. My death wouldn't ruin the girl's holidays for the rest of their lives. I could take my planned time off to finish recovering and start the New Year fresh.
A few weeks before the recital, we received an email from the studio owner announcing she was closing her studio. She would continue teaching through the Cary Park District which was only another 5 minutes from the current studio! However, the current studio is 15 minutes from our house. Add another 5 to that. Now multiply that by 4 girls. Now multiply that by 4 classes each. From the start, we knew it was a no-go to follow the studio owner to the Cary Park District.
With great trepidation, we told the girls we were going to look for a new studio. There are two within a couple minutes of our house- so close the girls could ride their bikes to them- so we started with those. I checked their websites, read up on reviews, made calls and finally set up evaluations. We needed a studio that could cater to Liesel and Gita who are pretty dedicated to dance as well as Ireland and Sydney who see it as more of a hobby.
Brent and I also had long discussions about dance in general. I mean, we are a DANCE family, for sure. But how did we get in this deep? Like Girl Scouts, we wanted the girls to have circles of friends outside the church. We looked at each other and just laughed and laughed over that one. There are a fair number of girls from church at Dancespirations! We also wanted the girls to be proud of their bodies, carry themselves with grace, learn to overcome stage fright... somehow in the midst of all that, dance had kinda become our lives. The funny thing is that we don't even put the girls in competition, which is a whole other beast. We found ourselves asking- how did we get here? More importantly- is this still a priority? Liesel in particular was saying maybe she would just quit dance altogether. The very thought made me sad. So many discussions!
The week of evaluations was really tough because the girls were still at their old studio so our already hectic schedule of dance classes was doubled. Many times they'd have to leave one class early to make it to another or come late to make it all fit. In the end they were properly evaluated and the recommendation for classes was put forward. Brent and I braced ourselves for the cost. Part of the reason we had gone with the old studio was because they gave generous family discounts. Turns out the new studio cost about the same: full price for the first girl, half price for the second and third, and little Miss Sydney was completely free! Costumes were twice as much, but we anticipated that. The old studio only made us pay cost. Like everyone else in the dance world, the new studio added on fees to pad their pockets. Regardless, we were pleasantly surprised this wasn't going to break us.
I think the girls shoved aside thoughts of their new studio as they prepared for their final recital with Dancespirations. It was just business as usual, really. On the day of the recital they came to me crying- pretty much everyone was going to the Cary Park District. It was one thing to be leaving the studio owner we all love and adore, it was another thing to be the ONLY ones leaving the studio owner! It stung a bit more that all the girls they knew from church and had danced with for years were following the studio owner to Cary. I was able to snap one final group photo with almost everyone from church!
It's worth noting all of these girls live closer to Cary than we do. I felt bad, but reminded them there is no way we can make a 40 minute round-trip drive for each dance class. We mapped it out and we'd literally be in the car for hours each week just shuttling girls around. Still, there were some heavy hearts going into the recital. In spite of that, they gave a fantastic performance!
Company Opening Number
Liesel Ballet
Liesel Jazz/Hip Hop
Liesel and Ireland Lyrical
Ireland and Brigitta Ballet
Ireland and Brigitta Jazz/Hip Hop
Brigitta Tap
Sydney Ballet
Sydney Jazz/Hip Hop
Company Closing Number
Final pics with Miss Chrissy who has shaped my girls in so many ways!
This one is my favorite. I don't remember what made her laugh but this is how I want to remember her.
Brigitta was completely gutted saying goodbye- those shuddering sobs and big tears just wracking her whole body.
Along with another family, we went to Olive Garden for dinner. In preparing for my gall bladder surgery we've found Italian places are actually a pretty safe bet. I could eat all I wanted of the salad! Liesel and I took a selfie while Ireland did a fantastic photo bomb! With a hot meal and the recital behind them, the girls felt a bit better.
Another recital in the books- and the closing of a very big and important chapter in our lives!
It took a bit of convincing for Liesel to take choir in the first place. Brent and I both enjoyed taking choir throughout high school and were a little stunned she was so opposed. On the one hand her schedule was already packed. Liesel could only have two electives and Spanish firmly took up one of them which left little fun to have in her schedule. Choir would be opposite gym days which meant absolutely no study hall. Bear in mind she's also taking early morning seminary and she has obligations after school with church, dance and Girl Scouts- Liesel's schedule is pretty choked as it is.
We told her just to try it. If she absolutely hated it, she could back out. She left our room with slumped shoulders and Brent I and discussed where we'd gone wrong. We both loved singing! Well turns out Liesel just needed some time in a choir room and the right director (BOY does she have that in spades!) and she just blossomed. She's signed up to go on the Spring Break Choir trip (to LA and San Diego this year) and she's eagerly anticipating being in the school musical.
Mrs. Sherrer is fantastic. She's one of those teachers who has such a passion for their subject, you can't help but get excited too. The choir concerts are amazing and this one was no exception. For the first number the students all had a candle and they lined the aisles as they sang. It was so beautiful!
For class, students are separated into Treble Choir and Bass Choir and then for the concert, they combine in different ways. They even incorporate the middle school choir so those students get a sense of what it feels like to sing in a large group.
Mrs. Sherrer is also very generous with solos and this was Liesel's first. They rehearsed beforehand and in her enthusiasm and excitement, Liesel had really given it her all so her voice cracked a little. She was disappointed but I think she did a fantastic job!
This song was just... everything! I can't get over the intricate hand movements- later Liesel taught them to her sisters. A bit of choreography was right up her alley, for sure.
The final number was the Hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah. Everyone was invited not just to stand per tradition, but to sing if they knew the music. I would put the recording here but you can clearly hear my singing, which upon review was decidedly off-key. We basked in that music.
In a frenzy of holiday spirit, I inexplicably felt strongly that Ireland and Brigitta needed to have new bedding for Christmas. They already had pillowcases, but they needed the full treatment- their beds needed to look like they were straight out of the Pottery Barn catalog. Why? I'm not sure. But we tricked out their beds as soon as everything arrived and they enjoyed them all throughout the holidays.
On a rough day when I was in the middle of playing chauffer to the girls I spotted this shark sticking out of a garbage and it struck my funny bone something fierce. I drove by a couple of times, determined to get a good picture. Then after picking up the girls I drove them by again to make them laugh. I feel ya Mr. Shark... My day has been filled with nothing but rubbish too!
Ireland and I were watching Father of the Bride and there's a scene where George Banks says he realized Annie was leaving and he'd never see her at the top of the stairs in her socks. Overcome with sentimentality, I reached over and stroked her cheek. She wryly said, "I'm only 12 Mom, I'm not getting married."
Aunt Beck sweetly sent a package of goodies for the girls which also included candy necklaces. Gita and Sydney donned them immediately and munched on them throughout the day. I have to say I love the look! More importantly, we really adore Aunt Beck.
Brigitta got a ring stuck on her finger which rapidly began swelling up. Even with cold water, even with soap, even with oil, I could not get it off. I grabbed the wire snips from the garage and we ran downstairs, tears streaming down Gita's face. Brent managed to snip it off without pinching her finger and we threw the now-useless ring away. Crisis averted!
On November 8th we voted!
We had our first real snow and these two were pretty elated to put on all their gear and head out into the powder.
Sydney shuffled into the office and placed her American Girl Doll next to me. She told me she was there so I wouldn't get lonely while I worked. It's the sweetest, most innocent thing someone has done for me in a long time.
Somehow I got the Machiavellian idea to check in on the girls and see if they were doing anything nefarious. I figured if I acted like I already knew something, they'd confess. The text string to both of them went like this:
Me: You two are in BIG trouble! I think you know why... Liesel: ??? messy room? Me: I think we all need to have a talk when you get home. EXPECT TO BE GROUNDED! Liesel: what? Me: Seriously? You're going to play it off like we don't know? My sister is a professional hacker and we aren't idiots. Liesel: I have no idea what you are talking about? what did I do? Me: I think the bigger question is WHY DID YOU DO IT?!?!!!! Ireland: what do you mean Me: If we have to tell you, it's going to be a lot worse than if you just confess.
Well Ireland arrived home first and I told her I was just kidding- just checking to see if they were doing anything. She burst into tears saying she'd been stressing out about it since she saw the text message in class. Liesel started texting her begging to know what it was and then Ireland ghosted her. Liesel arrived home and I said, "Right- let's get Dad and talk about this" and she burst into tears as well.
The best laid plans of Mice and Men...
They felt a little better when they found out I'd mentioned what I was doing to Reagan, who decided to try it on her daughter Paisley. Paisley responded, "I'm tryin dawg..." which got a laugh.
Absolutely no idea where Gita gets her money... or how she holds on to it for so long!
