Bad Genes

It started with a cold from Liesel. Then she gave it to me and from there it trickled down to Ireland. I guess all those years in daycare gave Liesel a pretty hardy immune system because she recovered relatively quickly. I took a little longer but I think a nasty bug along with the plagues of first trimester pregnancy had a lot to do with it. Ireland is a different story.

Things for Ireland went from bad to worse to awful to intolerable. She didn't want to eat. She didn't want to play. She just laid against my chest with glazed eyes. Miserable. Her breathing became so labored she could only sleep if she was held upright. Somehow she could still scream like a banshee if we tried to put her in a steamy bath or shower. Brent and I tried to take shifts to get some sleep between us. Finally we said "uncle" and Brent took Ireland to the ER.

She was diagnosed with brochiolitis (aka RSV) and given a small army of prescriptions. After her bout with pneumonia, it's looking more and more like she's inherited my respiratory issues. I teared up when I saw the tiny inhaler they gave her. My childhood memories are filled with being sick with asthma. To this day my dad asks if I'm wearing a coat when it's less than 70 degrees out. Now I understand why. It's not just the ER expense, it's the emotional expense of seeing your little one so miserable.

Sorry Ireland! I so hoped to just pass along blue eyes and a quick wit. I guess the crappy cardiovascular system gene just snuck it's way in there...

Reverence Child

Last Sunday Liesel came home from Primary with a piece of paper taped around her wrist. It was a note from the Primary President letting us know Liesel was to be a "Reverence Child" in Sacrament meeting the following Sunday. Her job would be pretty simple: arrive 10 min early, stand to one side of the podium with her arms folded, and be an example for other children as families came into the chapel.

All week we reminded her about her impending duty and this morning we practiced a bit. Miraculously we got to church 10 min early with everyone looking sharp. I held Liesel's hand as I led her to her spot, explained that the Bishop would tell her when she could leave, and then we all sat down on the front row, directly in front of her.

Perhaps it was the cold she's had all weekend. Perhaps it was a bit of stage fright. Perhaps she simply became overwhelmed. Whatever the reason, her face crumbled and within seconds our Reverence Child had tears streaming down her face. There was a low "awwwwe" from the congregation (who were WAY more attentive than I thought they'd be, given the meeting hadn't started yet). I tried to talk to her and encourage her but to no avail. Just when I was about to lead her off the podium, Brent knelt by her side and folded his arms.

Liesel immediately calmed. Upon seeing her sister, Ireland solemnly folded her arms and quietly sat in my lap. Today was our Ward Conference so the entire Stake Presidency was on the stand. One of the counselors, President Nelson, swiftly jumped off of his seat and knelt to the other side of Liesel. He whispered to her that he understood how hard it was to be a Reverence Child.

I'll never forget that image of two men in suits and ties, on their knees, flanking my little 3-year-old in her dress and bows. No irony, no joking, just quietly folding their arms along with her, being an example of reverence. I hope that throughout her life she'll always have examples of righteous men to guide her and calm her. I'm grateful for the ones she has now.

Seasons of Organization

How do you measure a year? In daylight? In sunsets? In midnights? In cups of coffee (herbal tea)? Yeah, I tend to measure my time in how many organization projects I complete. Many of my friends close out their year by reviewing all the books they've read. At the end of 2011, I considered writing a post reviewing all the projects I'd completed.  Then I realized anyone but me would be bored to tears reading about it. As my pregnancy nausea has started to wane, I've had short bursts of energy which I've parlayed into working on small organization projects. In the interest of feeling productive, I just have to share!

1. Revamping My Recipes: I had a load of family recipes via email from my mom and sisters. They aren't very useful on a desktop when they're needed in the kitchen. I standardized them (fonts, margins, measurements etc.), added photos, mounted them on color-coded cards and had them laminated with the thickest laminate available. Red=Main Meals, Yellow=Breads & Rolls, Green= Sides, Blue=Soups, Purple=Desserts.
The most important thing I did was put a bold, red note if the recipe takes more than an hour. I'm so happy with how they turned out and I'm glad to have those recipes organized.

2. Articles of Faith Cards: I saw these on Pinterest and immediately knew I wanted to make them for my girls. My intention is to give them as a gift along with new scriptures at their baptism when they turn eight (yes, I plan ahead). Since I was investing a lot of time at the copy & print department of Staples, I figured why not?

When I found carabiners in pink and yellow, my heart fluttered a bit. Those are the colors I use for their medical binders. I'd love to keep using color to keep their things organized and separate. I showed Liesel the finished project and even though she can't read yet, she was thrilled. She thumbed through them over and over. I love how they look!
Since finishing these two projects, I've gotten to know the Staples crew (including the general manager) by name. Brent is still researching the cost of our own laminating machine.

3. Kitchen Organization System: Ahhh, the creme de la creme organization project! My old system worked okay. I was pretty happy with it until I saw this one from Pottery Barn. Of course it cost an arm and a leg so I quietly put it on my wish list and left it at that. For Christmas, Brent got me one component: the one with the little shelf and key hooks. A couple of weeks later the rest of it went on sale and I just HAD to have it all!

To say I love this would be an understatement. Now I can write out the menus for an entire month rather than a week at a time. Magazines and mail have a home where the girls can't get into them. While I eat breakfast, I can look at the calendar and see what's coming up. My keys never get lost. All those papers from gymnastics and preschool have a home. I don't know how we lived without it!

In the coming year I wish I could accomplish 525,600 projects, but with a baby on the way, I'm going to have to slow down and take things as they come. Maybe 2013 will be the year for that...

So Now You Know...

Yes my blog posting has been spare to say the least or non-existent to be quite frank. The previous post probably explains it most succinctly. However, should you like more details, here's where I've been and what I've been doing for the last little while:

Sick. So very very sick. If this were my first baby it would undoubtedly be our only baby. I made it through my first pregnancy with no medication but lived on it with my second. This time around, the medication only occasionally worked. In addition to the nausea, I've had round the clock headaches and dizziness. Although I haven't thrown up too much, I've been dry-heaving which still leaves one shaky and weak. The first time I threw up, I could tell it was coming. I told Liesel, hoping a little warning wouldn't make it quite so scary for her. She sternly told me I wasn't allowed to throw up on her or Ireland and I needed to go outside NOW! The end of the first trimester with my other pregnancies was one day sick, the next day normal. No such luck this time. It's not as bad, but it's not gone completely and I never know what kind of a day I'm going to have.

Crying. I'm always emotional in pregnancy but this has been like bi-polar emotions on crack. My hormones are all over the place. WAY all over the place! Once I ran out of the shower (soapy hair and all) into the kitchen where I startled Brent who was making himself lunch. I burst into tears and asked pitifully if he thought I was still pretty. He hugged me (getting his nice polo shirt wet in the process) and assured me that I was just getting more beautiful. Probably a load of crap, sure, but it was enough to keep me from weeping my eyes out all day. My parents recently visited and when they left, I bawled like an abandoned refugee. Last week at my OB appointment I started crying because my Dr was being so understanding and nice. She just smiled sympathetically and quickly scribbled a note on my chart. Probably something like, "Watch out for postpartum with this one."

Comatose. One blessed difference this time around is that I'm not working full-time. After lunch I've been able to put Ireland down for her afternoon nap and set Liesel up for "quiet time." While she colored and watched a movie or two, I gave into the exhaustion and slept on the couch. When I came to again, Liesel usually had a suspicious ring of chocolate around her mouth. In the kitchen, a chair had been dragged over to the candy jar and the MnM's were depleted by quite a bit. Often she would tell me, "You should go back to sleep Mom!" and oh so often I complied. I'm so very grateful I've been able to rest because man alive, I'd be a mess without my naps. As I'm getting my energy back bit by bit, I think Liesel is missing her daily visit to the candy jar. However, Brent is happy to have her a bit more calm when he gets home.

Commiserating. As I've mentioned, my sister and I are due on the same day. It's been so very nice to have an outlet for venting the woes of pregnancy. We've been trading text messages and little packages. We've talked about our cravings, aches and pains, vomits per day, etc, etc. She cheered for me when I had an honest to goodness bowel movement and I felt like I could conquer the world again. That's hard to come by in pregnancy; most people are turned off by that kind of thing. Weird. Having someone with me in the trenches has been priceless. 

Letting Go. Allow me a bit o' vanity here. I'm starting this pregnancy more than 15 lbs lighter than my other two. I've been running and have felt stronger, healthier, and happier about myself than I have in decades. Even before I gained nary a pound of pregnancy weight, my body started changing. I became softer and rounder. My clothes fit differently and suddenly shopping has become nothing short of depressing. Normally it wouldn't bother me, but this time it has really bothered me. It feels like everything is engorged... and I'm STILL 10 lbs lighter than when I became pregnant before! I have to remind myself that I'm sacrificing my body and someday, I will get it back. "They are worth it. They are worth it. They are worth it." has become my daily mantra.

Saying No. Typically when you're feeling sorry for yourself, it's good to go out and help someone else. Unless of course, you may throw up on that person or become a Jackson Pollock-like mess of emotions. In that case, it's best to just stay home and feel sorry for yourself. As soon as I became pregnant, it seems like throngs of people wanted me to be involved in one thing or another. In the interest of self-preservation, I quit ward choir, politely declined an invitation for Girl's Camp, stopped scheduling play dates, and turned down a couple of aerobics/running clubs. Sure I felt bad, but I honestly HAD to! I can't imagine squeezing one more thing into those long, miserable days.

Seriously So Blessed. This pregnancy has brought out the nurturing side of Liesel. When my hormones have gone out of whack in the middle of the day, and a call to Brent didn't quite do it, Liesel stepped up. She would stop whatever she was doing, climb into my lap, curl up her long legs and just hug me for a while. Ireland has never been interested in being the baby, but it's as if she knows her time as youngest is limited. She's allowed me to cuddle her while she falls asleep in my arms, and suddenly become very free with her kisses. Brent as always has been a gem, picking up the pieces I couldn't quite handle. I'm so very aware of all my dear friends who are longing for a baby and it's not coming so easily. In spite of the trials, I'm grateful to be expecting.

Wove... Twoo Wove

I had big plans for Valentine's Day. I was going to leave a message in lipstick on the mirror for Brent. I found a card I knew he'd love. Last year I left him little notes everywhere from the girls. Just silly things like, "I love you for reading me bedtime stories." It took him a week to find them all. He collected them and I'm sure has stashed them somewhere to reread someday. I was surprised how much he liked the little notes, so I was determined to do them again. Really, I had a PLAN!
Brent sent me a lovely bouquet of different colored roses... reminiscent of how he proposed. On February 13th he brought home 3 cupcakes from Crumbs; including a red velvet one just for me. The other two were for the girls (aka his other sweethearts). The girls were over the moon.

Peanut butter cup, chocolate with sea salt caramel and red velvet cake. YUM!

The dawning of Valentine's Day brought me a horribly sore throat and aches all over. I rolled into Brent's musky warmth and told him I knew it was going to be a looong day because I wasn't feeling well. He wrapped his arms around me, mumbled an apology and after a little while, got up to shower. The girls were (miraculously) still asleep, so I dozed a bit. Shaved and clean, Brent stepped out of the misty bathroom and announced he was going to work from home. I was a little alarmed; after all he did that last week when I had an OB appointment. But he insisted that he wasn't going to leave his pregnant and sick wife home alone with the kids on Valentine's Day. Then my heart melted.

I don't remember much from there, but I THINK I went back to sleep. I never got around to any of my Valentine's Day plans. Brent took the girls through their morning routine of breakfast, baths and getting dressed. He cleaned the kitchen, made beds, took Liesel to gymnastics and quietly moved around the house so I could rest. He brought me food and herbal tea. After being in bed all day, I was a mess of matted hair, rumply clothes and oily skin.

Even so, I have never felt so loved.

The Fifth Wuehler

Due August 19th!

If that isn't exciting enough, check out my sister Reagan's blog here.