May Tid Bits

At Brigitta's last track meet she actually had to fight fr her mile. She was in a group of 3 girls just battling the whole way. When the pack passed us, a mom near me loudly cheered for Summer. On the last lap I yelled, "Go Gita! Just beat SUMMER!" Summer's mom frowned and looked around, trying to find the source. I laughed to myself about that for the rest of  the day. 

Both Ireland and Brigitta made high honor roll at the middle school. They were presented with a certificate from their teachers.

Sydney's Girl Scout Troop went horseback riding.

I snagged some hoodies for the girls from Logan International and much to my delight, they quickly became favorites.

Man it was good to come home to them!

I can't remember what it is I needed, but let me tell you, I can be persistent.

Turns out Sydney has become allergic to the SUN! I didn't know that was a thing. For a few days she's break out in a rash after recess and then it seems her skin was used to it and she was fine again.

Liesel was diligently studying Chemistry in the car on the way to school and she looked so adorable. I was so proud of her.

Me: If you start to feel down today, just remind yourself that you are skinny and blonde and beautiful and that should bring you back up a bit.

Liesel: I just kind of feel like Rory Gilmore- who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals?

Going through goals with the girls is always interesting. Gita cheerfully checked off the goal of being nice to her sisters... which is odd since she's in the fray a lot. 

Me: Seems that's one of your goals a lot...
Gita: Stooooooop
Brent: Staaaaaaaart

It was Open House at the elementary school so we chatted a bit with Sydney's fantastic teachers.

The 4th Grade Poet's Department- she is truly a Swiftie!

A few days later, we received and email with this picture of Sydney playing some math board games. She said, "Her smile is contagious!"

Sydney's May Concert which was really incredible. Since they wisely recorded it, we weren't just sitting in a sea of iPhone in the air blocking the view. 

The lilacs were out in full bloom! I often take a walk by the Gates and the owner happened to be out. I told him how beautiful they were and he told me to go ahead and take some. I love where I live.

I finished reading The Royal Wardrobe and here are some things I learned:

• Part of the reason the British welcomed a new monarch back after Oliver Cromwell is because they missed celebrating Christmas and watching horse racing.
• One of Charles II's periwigs was made using the pubic hair of his mistress. Blech!
• George III didn't actually wear wigs until the going-out-of-business wig makers asked him to save their trade.
• The unstructured, draped gowns of the regency era were inspired by the newly unearthed sites of Pompeii.
• Princess seams were so named to capture the attention of Princess Alexandra, and they did!
• Queen Elizabeth II coat dresses evolved from her wearing a military uniform during WWII. She looked so sharp and official, they continued the silhouette!

The dew on this field by the golf course was so beautiful on this particular morning!

I pulled out my macaroni necklace for Mother's Day. It's kind of slowly falling apart but I love that thing! Sydney made it for me when she was in preschool.

Me: I'm just worried I'm going to end up like my parents.

Brent: You are NOT your parents!

Also me: Ooooh look, a free couch on the side of the road!

We traded our old, crappy couch for a slightly less crappy one.

After renting a Bissel to clean this up, it looked almost new and is much more my aesthetic.

Liesel mentioned she was the only one who had never met Madeleine in person so we checked flight prices and got her out there lickety split.

Whitney was on the verge of hosting my parents again and I was worried she needed some space before taking that on. I offered to cancel Liesel's flight for a better time but Whitney insisted she come. They had a lot of fun and Whitney even taught Liesel how to drive stick on the Mustang! She asked permission from my dad of course, who was delighted to see another generation acquiring this valuable skill. I'm super proud she picked it up so quickly- some people just never do!

Sibling facetime to discuss my parents. We discovered if you make a heart then a red heart emoji will show up. Aside from selling their house and getting them moved out, that was the main topic of discussion- how to create the red heart emoji- haha!

A little bit of levity in this very dire situation. I swear I will march myself into an assisted living facility rather than worry my kids. Mark my words, I will never do this to them! Mom is painfully thin and seems so unhappy and because my dad is stubborn as the day is long, there's nothing we can do about it.

Well, except pray that is. Brent and I made it to the temple!

Some Trader Joe's flower arrangements I tried out. The berry looking things are actually coffee beans. Turns out I am a sucker for lilies which are beautiful and fragrant. You could smell these from the top of the stairs! 

See how beautiful they are when they fully open? Just stunning!

I'm also a fan of eucalyptus which smells lovely. It leaves a chalky feeling on the hands but I think it's worth it. In my friend Christy's honor, I also picked up some peanut butter cups (and they really are the best although I prefer milk chocolate to dark)

Peonies and hydrangeas! I've found I gravitate towards softer colors.

Liesel and Ireland are at that age where they just want to hang out with their friends at the beach. Ireland was sauntering up the stairs and she looked suddenly so confident and grown up. I asked her to turn around and snapped some photos.

The best part of May? I have a new niece! Meet Zooey:

She is the girl's 26th cousin. In the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding when Toula tries to describe her family to Ian, she goes on a bit of a diatribe about how big and loud everyone is, "You have 2 cousins. I have 27 first cousins, just 27 first cousins alone!" 

We are almost there with 26!

Squatting Squirrels

Brent: Squirrels are not velociraptors
Me: Oh REALLY? Because there's one in our roofline, one in the tree out front, I'm pretty sure a baby one in the hostas and squirrel prints in the concrete on our driveway!!!

The cedar siding of our house was initially a big selling feature but over time we've found some challenges with it. Because it is a natural wood and not plastic, it tends to attract local wildlife. A woodpecker decided to make a home in the eave just above Sydney's bedroom. I tried opening the window and using a pole to stop it. I played owl sounds to try and scare it away. All to no avail. That bird pecked a hole and set up shop. 

Eventually it left but then a pregnant squirrel discovered it and moved in. She had 3 babies who loved peaking out of the hole the woodpecker pecked. 

I made several calls to pest control companies who would ask for a picture and then conveniently not call me back. One friend gave me an ironclad reference and even they stopped returning calls. I get it, that nest is pretty darn high up there, but we couldn't let them just continue to eat into the house. What if they made it into the attic? Or worse, Sydney's room? She could hear them running back and forth above her bed. 

The damage to the house was going to be greater than the cost of repairing it if we didn't do something soon. Brent and I researched renting a lift which was pretty pricey. In the end, we decided to go with scaffolding that we could put together ourselves. Oh man, we had no idea how heavy and cumbersome that would be! Putting that together took a while and it was hard, dirty work. We nearly broke windows as we assembled the scaffolding higher and higher. 

Brent was able to get the corner edge of the ruined eave off pretty handily. The question was how to get a new one back on. Those squirrels had been nibbling and peeing and ruining the wood in there. We sent a picture to my brother-in-law, Doug. He kindly responded with this solution- expressing his wishes he could be here in person to help us out. My gosh I love that man!

I ran around to several hardware stores with the ruined piece of wood looking for a cedar piece to replace it. Meanwhile, Brent and Ireland cleaned out the nest and sprayed some animal deterrent (which could be a human deterrent as well. Nasty!). Around this time, Sydney was getting picked up for a playdate. It just so happens her friend's father works on scaffolding all the time. In no time flat he had it set up and stabilized so Brent could really get in there and do what needed to be done. He climbed around the scaffolding like Spiderman. This is when I finally returned with a replacement piece of cut cedar. Brent repaired it, patched it, and painted it while the mother squirrel squeaked angrily at him from the roofline. Sorry squirrel- you're being evicted.

The final coat of paint went on Sunday morning and we quickly took down the scaffolding and returned it before we hit our 24-hour rental limit. Tired but happy, we accomplished something even the professionals didn't want to touch! We unloaded the scaffolding a little wiser for the wear.

Trees

 During lockdown I began the habit of walking my neighborhood. I prefer to do this early in the morning when everything is still quite. People haven't let their dogs out just yet and I can mentally settle into the day ahead. Over time I've noticed the trees more and more and started to name them. They kind of feel like old friends at this point. Let me introduce you to the trees of my neighborhood.

The NBA Flop Tree

The 3 Widows

The Phantom of the Opera Masquerade Tree

The Smooth Criminal:

The "I Now Pronounce You Husband and Wife" Trees

The Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

I wonder if these old trees consider me a friend who passes by and checks on them now and again.

Ireland's Middle School Graduation

 Our girl graduated with some distinctions: 

• Honor Roll
• High Honor Roll
• National Junior Honor Society
• Science Olympian participant

Working hard at her grades isn't just something Ireland does, it's part of who she is. She's very proud of the fact she is a "nerd" and she has many friends with the same mindset.

I have a feeling Ireland is going to go far in this ole life!

She graduated alongside her friend Brianna, whose family we happened to sit by at the ceremony. 

The principal noted that these kids came into middle school having just come out of pandemic lockdowns. It's so crazy to think about that now and what a long-lasting effect it has had on everyone. We are super proud of our girl and her perseverance. On to high school!

Lessons Learned from Loss

 I received the news a friend of mine from my single years in Boston had died. I don't think I could ever adequately describe the incredible person that was Christy Parry because words just don't seem big enough. They can't capture the length and breadth and depth of how kind, loyal, faithful and generous she was. Writing them even now they just seem like a joke. I'm trying to describe the Taj Mahal using Legos. She was magnificent and as much as she loved others, she was loved so very much in return. 

It hit me hard. I mean really hard. My parents are not aging well and I often feel I'm drowning from the emotional burden. This may sound callous, but I kind of needed a funeral. Christy and I hadn't stayed close since I left Boston but this niggling feeling deep inside me said I needed to be there. My dear friend Crystal offered to put me up so I found a flight and bought it. As my departure date neared, Crystal updated me on the plans for the service and it seems I wasn't the only one getting that niggling feeling.

Lesson #1- How I Love That Dirty Water

I was seated on the right side of the plane so I got a fantastic view as we circled Boston to land. There it was splayed out in front of me- the waterfront, the Back Bay, the Charles River. My gosh it made me happy to see my old haunts again. 

We made another 90* turn and there was Southie- where I used to walk along the beach and wonder about my future. 

I didn't know much about Boston before moving there but I knew it was a big, sophisticated city and I needed to grow up and have some adventures. Well, I have to say I picked right because Boston fit me to a T (pun). Rubbing shoulders with the Harvard/MIT crowd and handy access to a large airport, I gained a lot of courage and found myself in Boston. I love the city so much for the role it played in my life.  

Lesson #2: There is Joy in Aging

Honestly I was a little worried about not looking my best but obviously true friends don't care about that kind of thing. Everyone was a little fluffier, greyer, and crow's feet were the common accessory. 

Lesson #3: You Can Know People Hundreds of Ways

Crystal's life has moved on since I moved away, but she is still so very Crystal. They had just moved to a new home and there were still moving boxes and unfinished projects. Of course Crystal would use a company called Intelligent Labor and Moving. 

This note to one of her sons just made me smile. Even with something as unpredictable as children, she's still... I dunno, CRYSTAL! But I got to see her in a different light. Hands down one of the highlights of this trip was seeing her and Chris as parents. She is fantastic and it made me love and admire her even more. 

Lesson #4: Time Really Does Heal (Almost) All Wounds

One Sunday I was really struggling and walking down these stairs when Mitt Romney happened to be walking up. Politicians are generally friendly to everyone but on this day perhaps he was having the same kind of day I was because he said nothing to me. I called my sister Reagan crying that even Mitt didn't say hi to me... Mitt!

She's brought that up several times since then in jest and now that I was once again walking down those stairs I had to chuckle. It's funny now.

Lesson #5: Friends are a Gift

We were there very early because Crystal was playing the organ (which she had stayed up past midnight practicing) and they were bringing food for the luncheon after. Having snagged a seat, people started trickling in. No, not just people- dear friends I hadn't seen in far too long. 

The pandemic really created some divides and there were friendship breakups that happened. In retrospect, I see how good that was for me and I realized there are some people I just felt I was a constant disappointment to and who gossiped behind my back. As the saying goes, with friends like that, who needs enemies?

Seeing so many friendly faces who take me exactly as I am and are cheering me on now and always was much-needed balm of Gilead. I felt so buoyed to be among these good people again.

My old Bishop and his sweet wife seem even wiser now as I move into the stage of life they were at when I lived in Boston. So many people mentioned my Christmas cards and that warmed the cockles of my heart.

Lesson #6: Cry When You Need To

During the service I bawled and bawled and bawled. There were around 400, some who had flown in from Oregon, New Mexico, Utah, Germany and Italy. Our small ward is thin on singing, so when the opening hymn came with thunderous voices joining in perfect harmony, my entire body was filled to the brim with the Spirit. Oh how I have missed good music!

 Afterward, everyone else headed to the luncheon and I headed to the temple for some much-needed solitude. I found a bench around the back and there let out all my mourning and sorrows in heaving sobs and a torrent of tears. I mourned not just Christy but death and decay and my parents and loss and endings and feelings of hopelessness. I don't think I have ever cried that hard in my life. My head pounded and my heart hurt but it was good. 

I walked the temple grounds before heading back. This is where I became a temple worker and really committed those covenants and ordinances to memory. It was cathartic and nostalgic all at once.

Christy's sister was there. She looked a lot like her and even though she didn't know me, she squeezed my shoulder as she walked by. It was like she knew I really needed it and man did I ever! Christy was cremated and several people have agreed to secretly spread her ashes in different museums around the world she had visited and loved. How cool is that? There were bookshelves set up with an invitation to take a few so I grabbed a couple I knew and one I did not. 

All those who had come from the Longfellow Park wards.

The rest of the day was spent hanging out with different groups of friends. We went for a walk to the old Longfellow Park building and by the Charles. It was like being in a dream. Those places are so familiar yet so strange to me now since my lens of life has changed so drastically. 

The discussions were so different as well. We all used to be so worried about finding that eternal companion and starting our families. Everyone has that in hand now in one way or another. Our worries have changed and they are somehow deeper and heavier. I found we got down to those deep and heavy conversations at lightning speed. I dunno, maybe as we age we eschew the tendency to tap dance around the real issue. We talked real and sincere and hugged and cried some more. 

Crystal played Girls Just Wanna Have Fun on the organ in the way only Crystal can. My gosh I love that girl. I want to have her in my life forever. We stayed up until almost 3AM talking and crying and talking some more. Bra's off, laying in bed just chatting. That's the kind of friend she is. The you-don't-need-a-bra-around-me kind of friend. And those are the best. I'm an introvert and an entire day of talking to so many people left me depleted. But I wanted to talk to Crystal just a little bit more.  

She's the kind of girl who plays an organ version of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. That's Crystal.

I thought I hated my single years. But now it hit me how I really found my tribe here back then.  I discovered the person I wanted to be. Now I realize my single years were so precious and golden. Going to Boston for Christy's service was the best decision I've made in a long time because I found myself again. It was truly beauty from ashes.